Chapter 48

Su Jinzhi’s business was steadily growing. Although he wasn’t earning a lot, it was enough to pay Xiao Liu’s salary and cover their daily expenses.

Sometimes, Su Jinhe would come to help. When he was free, Su Jinzhi would also help his mother at her luwei shop. He had rented a separate apartment, a small 60-square-meter unit.

Since he hadn’t been home for a long time, his mother had already established her own social circle. Su Jinzhi didn’t want to bother her, and Su Jinhe, due to years of hard work, suffered from neurasthenia and was used to living alone.

Su Jinzhi’s business gradually stabilized, and he shared the good news with Lu Yiran.

After finishing his last event, Lu Yiran came to visit him.

Su Jinzhi booked him a hotel room and treated him to many delicious meals.

At dinner, Xiao Liu toasted Lu Yiran and congratulated him. “Brother Yiran, congratulations! I heard you won the Best New Actor award. So many endorsements are coming your way now, your career is booming. Let me bask in your good luck, so I can become Brother Su’s store manager in the future!”

Lu Yiran chuckled at her words. They chatted and laughed, the atmosphere lively.

Su Jinzhi also congratulated him. “That’s great news. Your hard work has finally paid off.”

Lu Yiran looked at him for a moment, then sighed. “Too bad you’re not around anymore.”

“…”

The atmosphere turned awkward.

Xiao Liu quickly stood up to lighten the mood, breaking the silence.

Xiao Liu had become close to Xiao Zhao, an apprentice at the barbecue restaurant next door. They happened to run into each other, and Xiao Zhao joined them, chatting animatedly with Xiao Liu.

Lu Yiran looked at Su Jinzhi and downed another bottle of beer.

Su Jinzhi advised, “Don’t drink so fast.”

Lu Yiran lowered his eyes, his expression turning serious as he thought of something.

He seemed to be debating whether to say it or not.

But he couldn’t hold back.

“Jinzhi, do you… know why my career took off so quickly?”

Su Jinzhi: ?

For someone of Lu Yiran’s age, winning such an important award was indeed a bit premature, and he didn’t really have any major representative works.

But award shows were now supporting younger actors, so it wasn’t that strange for Lu Yiran to win.

“It was Jian Fanghan who pulled some strings,” Lu Yiran finally said.

Hearing that name again, Su Jinzhi’s heart instinctively flinched.

But it was just a fleeting reaction. He quickly calmed down, like a ripple on a still lake, quickly disappearing.

“Is that so?” Su Jinzhi stirred the soup in his bowl. “Perhaps… he sees potential in you.”

He even smiled. “You don’t have to worry about me. Since he’s supporting you, you should…” soar to greater heights.

Before Su Jinzhi could finish, Lu Yiran suddenly said, “It’s not that.”

“He wasn’t supporting me, he was…”

Su Jinzhi waited for him to continue, looking up at him.

Lu Yiran met his gaze. “He wanted me to take care of you.”

Clang.

The spoon in Su Jinzhi’s hand fell into his bowl.

Lu Yiran continued, “Jian Fanghan contacted Han Feng and found the best medical facility to treat my mother’s illness. And the Lu family no longer interferes in my relationship with Hao Tiantian. I don’t have to suffer anymore.”

“I broke up with Hao Tiantian. There wasn’t much between us anyway.”

“Jian Fanghan even contacted my stepfather, hoping he would agree to me and you… hoping he wouldn’t interfere in my career, so I could… naturally…”

Su Jinzhi pushed his bowl away. “He’s still so presumptuous.”

“…”

Lu Yiran lowered his head.

He knew he had given up on Su Jinzhi before, and now, he couldn’t possibly have the nerve to pursue him again.

“I can take care of myself. I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” Su Jinzhi said.

Lu Yiran forced a smile. “Yes, you’re indeed taking good care of yourself now. I’m relieved.”

The last bit of hope in his heart vanished.

Su Jinzhi had never been interested in him, with or without Jian Fanghan.

Lu Yiran: “I just didn’t expect Jian Fanghan to become like this.”

Su Jinzhi looked at him.

Lu Yiran continued, “I didn’t expect that one day, Jian Fanghan would give you up, even though he was willing to kidnap you and keep you, even prepared to go abroad.”

“By doing this, he was probably trying to entrust you to me. He hurt you, so he hoped I could make you happy.”

“Honestly, I couldn’t believe those words came from Jian Fanghan. He seems… to have changed a lot.”

Su Jinzhi lowered his eyes.

Perhaps.

Jian Fanghan meant well. He had learned to consider other people’s feelings.

But it didn’t matter anymore. What Jian Fanghan became had nothing to do with him anymore.

Lu Yiran asked tentatively, “Has Jian Fanghan contacted you recently?”

Su Jinzhi shook his head.

Lu Yiran, for some reason, felt relieved.

“You haven’t seen him, you don’t know, he…”

“I’m not interested in his affairs,” Su Jinzhi raised his glass. “Let’s drink. This dinner is to celebrate your visit.”

Lu Yiran also raised his glass. “Thank you.”

He downed his drink in one gulp.

Lu Yiran stealthily observed Su Jinzhi’s expression. He looked calm and at ease, seemingly no longer affected by Jian Fanghan.

That was how it should be.

After Su Jinzhi’s suicide attempt, Jian Fanghan shouldn’t have the nerve to come back.

But Lu Yiran still couldn’t forget that scene.

At the hospital, Han Feng had emerged from the operating room and said to Jian Fanghan, who was covered in blood, his mind in a daze, “Su Jinzhi lost too much blood, he might… he might not make it. And his will to live is weak, I really…”

Hearing this, Su Jinhe fainted. When she woke up, she rushed to the operating room door, crying her heart out. “My son, my son!”

Lu Yiran took care of Su Jinhe, his heart aching.

Jian Fanghan had carried Su Jinzhi to the hospital straight from the wedding ceremony. His dark suit was stained with blood, his face and neck too.

It was Su Jinzhi’s blood.

Lu Yiran couldn’t think about Jian Fanghan anymore. He only remembered his expression, a desolate look of utter despair.

Just then, a nurse approached with some equipment.

Han Feng gestured for her to quickly take it inside.

And then, Jian Fanghan, who had been in a daze, suddenly grabbed a scalpel from the cart and slashed his own throat.

A fatal wound.

Dong Qin, Jian Junlai, and Shang Boyue, who were standing behind him, screamed. “Fanghan!”

Han Feng froze, then quickly pressed against Jian Fanghan’s neck. “Quick! Get me some gauze, quick!”

The scene outside the operating room was even more chaotic than inside.

Lu Yiran’s eyes widened. He saw Jian Fanghan clutching Han Feng’s arm, blood gurgling from his mouth.

“If… if something happens to Su Jinzhi… don’t… don’t save me…”

Undeniably, at that moment, Jian Fanghan was ready to die with Su Jinzhi.

This was something Lu Yiran couldn’t do.

So, in a way, he admired Jian Fanghan.

***

That night.

2:30 am, foreign time.

Jian Fanghan lay in bed, his eyes closed, his breathing rapid, his eyes moving restlessly beneath his eyelids, as if he might wake up at any moment.

“Bad news, Young Master! Mr. Su attempted suicide!”

Mama Li rushed through the crowd and shouted the news. At that time, Jian Fanghan was putting a ring on Shang Boyue’s finger, under everyone’s gaze.

Seeing the blood on Mama Li’s hands, he ran upstairs like a madman, ignoring the shouts behind him.

He burst into the room. Su Jinzhi was lying in the bathtub, the water stained crimson with blood, a shockingly bright red.

Jian Fanghan’s legs went weak. He almost crawled to the bathtub, his hand reaching for Su Jinzhi’s pale face. “Jinzhi, Jinzhi?”

“Su Jinzhi!”

He tried to wake him up, but Su Jinzhi’s eyes remained closed, unresponsive.

Jian Fanghan touched his left arm, the wrist a bloody mess, blood still flowing out.

“Ah!!!”

Jian Fanghan held Su Jinzhi’s hand and screamed, his voice filled with agony.

Fear washed over him, his body trembling, his mouth repeating, “No, no, Su Jinzhi, you can’t!”

He wanted to lift Su Jinzhi out of the bathtub, but his emotions overwhelmed him, and he had no strength, unable to even stand. He could only kneel there, his voice filled with despair and helplessness. “I was wrong, I was wrong, Jinzhi, I’ll let you go, I’ll let you go, okay?”

“Don’t joke like this, don’t joke like this, please, please!” He buried his face in Su Jinzhi’s neck, the coldness against his skin shattering his heart.

Han Feng rushed in and checked Su Jinzhi’s condition. “He can still be saved! Get him to the hospital, he can still be saved!”

Hearing those words, Jian Fanghan saw hope, a sudden surge of strength coursing through him. He lifted Su Jinzhi into his arms and ran out.

“Move, move!” He was like a cheetah, his face filled with desperation and madness.

“Jinzhi, Jinzhi, Jinzhi!”

As if calling out his lover’s name would bring him hope, his hope.

Bang—

Jian Fanghan woke up with a start, his eyes bloodshot, like a scene from a horror movie.

He felt his racing heart, then slowly sat up.

The room was white and sterile, devoid of any emotion.

Bruce, his blue-eyed doctor, had told him that this kind of room was good for his condition.

The memories of his dream flooded back, the fear and suffocation still lingering.

Images of Su Jinzhi’s suicide attempt flashed through his mind.

He had driven Jinzhi to his death.

Jinzhi would rather die than stay with him.

He was so terrible that even someone as good as Jinzhi couldn’t stand him anymore.

He truly didn’t deserve anything good.

He was bad, hated by Jinzhi, a person who was hated…

He didn’t deserve to live in this world. Perhaps if he died, Jinzhi would be happy.

He wanted him to be happy.

He wanted to atone for his sins.

A heavy weight pressed down on his chest, an unbearable emotion he couldn’t release. Jian Fanghan saw the only sharp object in the room, the corner of the porcelain table.

He stared at it for a long time, then slowly walked towards it.

Bruce and the nurses came in for their rounds and saw Jian Fanghan using the table corner to scratch his arm, the already scarred skin turning red and raw.

He wasn’t satisfied and wanted to cut deeper.

“No! No! No! No! No!”

“Help! Help!”

Bruce immediately rushed over and restrained Jian Fanghan.

The nurses also came over and injected him with a sedative. He finally calmed down.

Bruce’s back was covered in sweat. He looked at Jian Fanghan, pinched the bridge of his nose, and said to the nurses, “Increase the voltage for the next ECT session.”

“Okay.”